**late afternoon i decided to go home since i have to go to work; i tried to contact her so many times but she end all her phone calls; block me; and did divert calls; i ask her if she could tell e if she will be coming home to stay or else i rather drop by at her crib; she replied no she's not coming ; not knowing that she have her own plans to drink out; so pissed off i end up calling my mom back and let the kiddoz stay at my crib; it was raining that evening got no option and my mom pleaded to let my ex stay at my crib though i know for the fact that it was wrong move i just can't say NO.. but i guarantee you no skin attach.. so i went back and have them back at my crib:
the moment i reply FINE! to her .. the struggle started:she text me almost every single question and painful words that i can't imagine: it's around 11pm that i decided to follow her: she pushes me away.. im so pissed off since all her hunch is so unpredictable.. i took a bath.. grab my things and went to her crib.. ride a cab and ride a jeepney: when i got there im not feeling well .. i have to pee... stop by the cafeteria please the sales lady that i have to pay her just to get into the wash room.. after that i walk through her house. being stared by "tambay " who are pretty drunk..then when i check my phone she's calling me . when im about to answer it got diconnected:then chabelita called me up and ask me where am i.i told her that i was in front of sinichi's house.. then i spoke to her.. sinichi's told me to go home since she's not there. i end up crying being stared by tambay's but still i have to find her: since i love her i have to go back home.. but then i still insist to look for her.. i decided to go to work so that i have the ability to stay or rather work that night but i was not allowed to due to my clothing..it's not appropriate.. so i get back to the jeepney about to go home then she call me up again.. about to go the England but since i don't wanna go on my own i rent a PC nearby. I almost die when i saw her status from being "in a relationship" to "single". and there's a couple of girls who like it.. hate them! hahaha (*bitter much*) then she called-up and i told her that she have to be here or else i won't drop by England: she refused stated that i rather go home, and it's unhealthy ; i tried to go to where she at still been rejected: so i walk-walk-walk-walk until i reached the mall nearby..talking and crying over the phone: been messed up ; looks like a beggar:.it seems that my eyes are shuttered..every person i met stares at me like i was a crazy bitch.. so pissed off don't know what to do .. it's almost 6 am when i got home .. so confused where to stand though it's too painful but i have to chose what i have decided to kept since i know that the people i already have will not go anywhere.. so i sent them home.. they went home and left alone so stupid for what i've done..
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it's almost lunch time still i haven't eaten any single thing; stomachache, heartache ,my eyes hurts and my feet hurts .. then my crazy mind is running from nowhere thinking on how to catch her up.. then i remember that i have a TOLL-FREE No. of the person who owns the house not knowing that she will spill it out where are they located: then their i came at the place where SCHOOL,HOSPITAL and SUBDIVISION are in.. waiting till she call's me up.. she told me to go home but i told her yes i'll be leaving however i didnt.. i stayed until 7pm knowing she will be out by that time but since im so tired no money left and i almost saw every single student at that University .. so i went home.. so tired not knowing where im going to.. then when i hit the GAY PLACE .. the driver told me if im alright and her wife accompany me until they drop me off .. then i ride another public transpo.. so sleepy head.. then the driver told me im in my destination .. seems im drunk but im not.. i was wet due to the rain.. got bad hair day and so pissed off on what i have heard from her.. all the foul words that i can't imagine that she will tell me.. then that evening being home alone.. im reading my dirty book that i made.. i received a message from sinichi's..." "Gen, mahal na mahal na mahal kita.. Wla lng, Gs2 kO lng mlman mO.. im sOrry kng nsaktan kta.. Mgphnga kn ha.."1:30:39 am 01/02/2011 which is our Fourth Month together.. im crying for the reason that i knew sinichi still love me that much that i don't know how to face sinichi on that day..
*****
being in the Office . im floating in heaven.. im out of my mind.. everyone is asking me if im OK though i know that im not.. then when i got the chance to face sinichi.. my heart goes shalalalala.. hahahaha no seriously im too damn nervous and don't know what to do..since sinichi told me that he don't want to see me crying and i should be controlling myself.. where in fact i really can't.. i end up seating beside sinichi.. then ran to the bathroom .. crying in the cubicle then head back to work.. place my hood and tried to control myself then it burst out.. im working while crying.. then this sarcastic words i heard from sinichi.. TAyo na nga uli e.. nakakaawa ka naman.. i don't know what to say .. should i be happy or what..then i log-out so many times. im so damn sick due to no foof for almost 3 days.. i end up in the clinic .. i took my medicine... then did our first break... FInally.. i hug sasuke so tight that i don't wanna lose her.. i really don't know what to do.. so damn hurt . happy.. hurt, frustrated, upset.. crazy and now what.. celebrating the day that we still end up in each other's arms.. i really really don't know how to explained the feeling i have if i will lose her again.. i love her so much..
**if ever your in my arms again this time i love you much better***
